Never there in the first place

Fondness found in couples' hold,
In tale of tales yet to be told,
As two with feelings strong and hard,
Take the promise not to part.

Every time my heart stops, and there is an intensifying moment of silence where all the questions explode in my head. And in the darkness I struggle to get out, doing things that I hope will matter, but always the loudest voice would scream, "it's not me".

And I end up very afraid.